oscar wilde

deehaan:

• had three middle names
• spoke five languages
• was sentenced to prison for sodomy
• was 16 when he had his first kiss
• loved to travel
• had an eidetic memory
• lied about his age on his marriage certificate
• held seances at his house
• spoke with his hand in front of his mouth bc he was embarrassed by how supernaturally white his teeth were
• kept a vase of flowers on his writing desk to neutralize the smell of his ashtray
• had a passion for interior design and aesthetics—his drawing room was painted blue and covered in dragons, he even pressed feathers into the plaster to make it look cool
• the kids at his school called him “grey crow”
• one of the reasons he didn’t commit suicide was bc he was afraid he would go to hell for it
• his favorite word was ivory
• his last words were “i am in a duel to the death with this wallpaper, one of us has got to go”
• his grave, in paris, has become the target of mass quantities of lipstick kisses. no lie. it’s literally covered in lipstick stains. and a sphinx. he also asked to be buried with his former lover’s ashes

thetourguidebarbie:

date-a-jew-suggestions:

prismatic-bell:

date-a-jew-suggestions:

If you would report an undocumented immigrant to ICE you would have reported me to the Nazis and I don’t fucking trust you

A note:

I live in a state where you “have to” report anyone you suspect of being undocumented (that wonderful hellhole of Arizona). Now in practice this law has fallen far short, thank goodness. But if you live in such a place and they start enforcing it, here is how you get around it:

Assume everyone who doesn’t speak English is visiting.

Never ask about their job, because if they tell you they work here then you know they’re not visiting. You see them a lot for several weeks or months? Hm. Someone in the family must be ill. That’s terribly tough. They always dress in old, ratty laborers’ clothes? I feel you, my dude, I can’t afford new clothes either, and my dad has the fashion sense of an aardvark, so sometimes it’s not even about “affording” them. They say they’ve been here for years? You must have misunderstood. Spanish isn’t your first language, after all. First and last name? It never came up, or you don’t recall–you meet a lot of people.

And then, if you’re asked: no, you haven’t seen anyone residing illegally in the United States. Just people visiting.

Very good very important addition

“I don’t recall” is your very best friend.

curseworm:

oh i do try my very best to be not a bastard but my heart is a garden full of bastard fruits and also basil

thepineguardintern:

Imagining the Bonds between Taako, Magnus, and Merle constantly pulling them together before they finally “officially” meet in that bar. Just random hapinstances that they don’t even notice or remember.

-Taako baked the cakes for both Magnus’ and Merle’s weddings.

-Merle’s kids dragging him to Taako’s show

- Magnus fixing Taako’s caravan when it crashes in Ravens roost.

-Merle spreading the good news of pan door to door.

-Julia has somehow had long conversation with both Taako and Merle.

Just many little “so close yet so far moments” being extremely frustrating for a universe trying to push them together

themistrustfulmistress:

okay but neville longbottom as head of gryffindor house and there’s all these stories of him going head to head with an army of werewolves, being tortured by death eaters and killing Voldemort’s snake with godric gryffindor’s actual sword but when the students see him he’s like cradling a pot plant and crying cause he saw someone lost their pet on the noticeboard and they’re like “that guy? are you sure it’s that guy” 

BONUS: one of the older student’s get dared to go up and ask him if it’s true and neville just makes direct eye-contact and says “voldemort was a punk bitch” and continues knitting a lil baby sweater for a mandrake

gothmollyweasley:

glumshoe:

I love living in the future with advanced technology. It’s so great how I can just press a button on a machine and it will splutter hot, fresh coffee outwards at a horizontal angle onto my uniform, completely missing my cup. It saves me the convenience of spilling it on myself through human error.

Douglas Adams ghostwrote this